Tefuga Uchiha
by Kasuke.Hagase
Summary: This isn't your average fanfic. This doesn't contain the major romance or the awesome action.. No, this is much different. The birth of Tefuga Uchiha wasn't a simple one, but it was a manageable. With everyone being alive in this AU, disaster is bound to happen. This two-shot was worth the wait you never knew you had. Don't question it.. Don't question anything.. Don't question me.


_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto_

* * *

Ayame walked into her home, sporting a small smile as she rested her hands lightly on her stomach, "Where's my husband?" She whispered out into the silent house. Itachi's head poked out of the hallway and a smile lit up his face at the sight of his wife, "I'm here, baby!" He said back in a happy tone.

After walking to her, Itachi pulled Ayame into a hug. "I have a surprise~!" Ayame sang, cuddling into his chest. "Oh?"

"Well.. Promise to not be angry?" Ayame questioned, pulling out of his firm hug and looking up at him innocently. Itachi blinked, "W-well... okay.."

Ayame nervously took in a breath, before gushing out a rushed explanation, "Okay, I took a pregnancy test and I didn't want to tell you just in case and plus, I didn't want you to wait for me to wee, because that's embarrassing, _buuuuut_ we're having a baby, baby!" She held onto his hands, grinning.

Itachi was silent for a very long moment, a blank face on as he zoned out. "I-..Itachi?"

He fainted.

"ITACHI!" Ayame shouted, looking at him in panic, before rushing into the kitchen and snatching an empty bowl from the cabinet. She filled it with tap water and ran back to the living room. The effect of her splashing water onto Itachi's face was for him to jerk up and stand abruptly. "BABY! I-IS THAT TRUE?!" He asked in a loud out-of-character voice.

"Y-yes." Her grin widened, "Ahhh, I didn't want to wait to see so I did the test!" She pouted cutely at him before grinning and fanning herself. "OH BABY!" Itachi hugged her and kissed her, stroking her belly, "IMMA CRY! BABY!" He bit his lip and accepted the really tight cuddles she was giving him. "Ahhhh, I'm so excited!"

"I'm so happy right now! Omg! My baby's gonna have our baby!" Itachi cheered. Ayame responded with a whisper; "Can I have one more piggy back ride before I have a baby bump?" She gave him wide puppy dog eyes for effect.

"NOT GONNA RISK IT! But I'm gonna carry you bridal-style as much as you like, baby." Itachi chirped back, looking down at her with cheerful eyes. "...Fine." Ayame's eyes watered slightly.

* * *

"AYAME IS PREGNANT!" Sage exclaimed, retreating to the streets to distance himself from the window that he used to spy on Itachi (and Ayame). Itachi busted out of his own front door a second later with a high kick, "WE'RE GONNA BE PARENTS!"

Ayame rushed out after him, "YOU GUYS, THE EGGO IS PREGGO THANKS TO THE UCHIHA DICKO!"

"I WANNA BE THE GODFATHER!_ PLEASE!_" Sage begged, skipping over to the couple. They ignored him. Everyone did. Even Yashamaru, who was casually perched in a tree that's branches stretched for the length of three houses. He instead said; "Swiggity swag, I'm a great-grandad."

Ayame beamed up at him, while Itachi directed his face to Deidara's long-lost twin brother; Deihaha.

Don't question me.

"Congratu-fucking-lations, you're going to be parents soon." Deihaha told them, sauntering over to them. "THANKS SO MUCH!" You'd have thought Ayame was the one who responded so excitedly, but no, it was Itachi.

"Don't mention it, I just wanna see the babeh. She's going to look gorgeous." Deihaha smirked, looking at Ayame. "Ahhhh, do you think it will be a girl!? Oooh, we need to start decorating the room and everything!" Ayame cheered, looking at Deihaha giddily. "WE DON'T KNOW IF IT'S GONNA BE A GIRL OR A BOY!" Itachi reminded Ayame, "Baby, I think it's better to wait and see.."

Sage ran home to tell his wife about the news.

"CAN WE PAINT THE ROOM YELLOW THEN?!" Ayame asked, clutching his shirt and shoving her face in close by tip-toeing. "I think we should keep it more unisex.. like.. red or white.." Itachi mused. "Then he or she is going to look gorgeous.. and can you reveal if it is a boy or girl as soon as possible?" Deihaha asked, reminding them of his presence.

"I think we'll just get surprised. I mean, I don't care if it's gonna be a boy, a girl or even twins.." Itachi told Deihaha, except he was smiling at Ayame who grinned up at him.

"Red is too strong for a baby, baby," Ayame mentioned, her eyes sparkling, "We'll go with white then."

"You know, I love red but white goes with everything. It's a good choice." Itachi winked at Ayame, both of them ignoring Deihaha when he sighed heavily and walked away. "Great teamwork, baby." Ayame pulled him down by his shoulders to kiss his forehead.

"Parents have to make decisions like that as a team!" Itachi said cheekily. Yashamaru rolled his eyes at them from above. Kisame chuckled as he walked out his own home, which is right next to Itachi's, "Congratulations."

"CONGRATS ITACHI AND AYAME!" Yagura shouted out, running down to street to see them. "THANK YOOOOOOOOOOU!" Ayame shouted back, making a heart shape with her index fingers and thumbs.

"Congratulations to Ayame and Itachi! Oh my Rikudou!" Tayuya shouted, dashing out of her home (which was right across the street) and hugging Ayame. Sage strutted out of the house after her with a smirk. "THANK YOOOU!" Ayame squealed, her voice completely covering Itachi's "THANK".

"Proud Uncle right here. Hell ye boy." Kisame gave a shark-toothed grin, walking over to his former Akatsuki partner and said partner's wife. "I hope Itachi intends to follow his father's parenting advice." Sage told the couple. "I wanted to but Ita says 'no' to most of it." Ayame pouted. "Awww, what a party pooper." Sage sighed.

"HOW LONG DOES A PREGNANCY NORMALLY LAST?!" Itachi suddenly shouted. "Naruto m-preg was for two weeks but Inner-Sak was pregnant for a month, so a month." Sage responded. "A WHOLE MONTH!" Itachi exclaimed.

Normal rules don't apply for these ninja motherfuckers. Don't question me.

"I WAS LITERALLY JUST ABOUT TO ASK, AHAHA!" Ayame laughed a hardy laugh with her hand on her hands on her stomach as she doubled over. "I'M THINKING AHEAD BECAUSE I'M WORRIED TOO MUCH!" Itachi informed her in a loud voice. He demonstrated his worry by slowly adjusting her, to stand her up straight.

"Yep." Sage popped the 'p', raising an eyebrow at Itachi.

"AHHH, IT'LL BE OKAY!"

"I CERTAINLY HOPE SO!"

* * *

"What?! I fall asleep only to come back and learn that Itachi and Ayame are going to be parents..." Sasuke said, wide eyed as he walked out of Itachi's house.

All commotion paused for a moment.. "Sasuke still lives with Itachi?" Yashamaru mumbled, "What a nerd."

"YES!" Itachi responded, breaking the silence. "Congrats Brother!" Sasuke responded, smiling. His clan was _finally _getting revived. "THANKS, LIL SHIT!" Itachi nodded with a grin. "Wow... Count on you to be polite and an ass in one sentence..." Sasuke mumbled. "ARE YOU EXCITED, UNCLE TO BE?!" Ayame pulled Sasuke over to them by his arm when he tried to walk past. "YES!" He shouted back.

"I hope this kid isn't a lil shit to me like a certain nephew of mine." Kisame mentioned, reminding everyone that he was still here. "I'm not gonna be like Fugaku." Itachi responded.

"Who's pregnant? What's happening?" Omoi walked out of his house (which was next to Sage's and across the street from Kisame's) with a lollipop in his mouth, and headed over to the people who seemed to be the center of attention. "AYA IS!" "MEEEEEEEEE~!" Itachi was grinning by then. "Oh, haha, congrats yo." Omoi said, nodding his head. "Arigatou." Itachi chirped, switching back to his mother language.

The people from Yunaiteddogakure had taught everyone English, and although everyone in the ninja villages sounded pretty crappy in English, they'd taken a liking to it.

"Itachi and Ayame better not take any sass from this kid." Sage said, looking up at the sky. "We won't. Our baby is going to be a saint." Ayame smiled. Sage only glanced at her, having war flashbacks of all the sass he'd received from his own damn children, "Good."

Ayame frowned, before turning to face the people who had gathered in her front yard and the 5 front yards of the neighbors who's houses surrounded her own, "ANY OF YOU MOFOS TRY AND TEACH MY BABY BAD STUFF AND I WILL CUT YOU. OUR BABY IS GOING TO BE THE PUREST MORE INNOCENT THING IN THIS COMMUNITY, K?" She shouted at them.

"Do you even realize who your family is?" Yashamaru questioned. "GRAMPS, PLEASE! It's the immaculate conception, we gotta keep it innocent."

"Your father calls himself the sex god with a ramen D; Are you serious?" Sage deadpanned. "HAVE FAITH IN MY MOTHER SKILLS!"

"Well thank goodness I'm such an innocent uncle." Kisame puffed out his chest (not that he needed to). "Ummm."

"Keep the baby away from Ritana than." Karin advised.

So, apparently Moegi, ya know, the daughter of Hayate and Ritana; She began to idolize Karin and being the daughter of Ritana, who is RTN Hinata but was summoned here by Obito's dimensional transportation sharingan ability, Moegi didn't take her idolization of people lightly. Moegi than decided to beg her grandfather-senpai, Sage, for a forbidden jutsu and he gave it to her and she absorbed Karin into herself. So now, Moegi has Karin's experiences, information, mind, spirit, soul, and body, merged with her own. Thus, Karin and Moegi are one.

(P.S. Moegi changed her name to Karin and lives by Karin's story because Karin is so much cooler.)

Again; Don't question me.

"I've seen the fan art, Aya." Yashamaru narrowed his eyes at her. "OH FUCK, GRAMPS, SHHHH! KEEP IT ON THE DOWN-LOW!" Ayame screeched. "Imma _teach_ that baby how to keep it on the down low, hollaaaaa!" Yasha hollered, puffing out his chest and throwing his hands up.

"THE BABY ISN'T MEETING YOU TILL THEY'RE 18!"

"I'm a high ranking medical-nin. You need me."

"I THINK I NEED ICE CREAM AND CABBAGE, GRAMPS!" Ayame shouted, before she began sobbing. " ... I've dealt with this three times and it still doesn't get any less weird." Yashamaru mentioned.

"Thank yoouuuuu~!" Ayame sang, making a heart with her hands. "I'll get your stupid cabbage.." Her gramps grumbled in response. "GRAMPSSSS," Ayame shyly pouted, "DO YOU HAVE ANY PARENTING WORDS OF WISDOM?"

"Do _not_, under any circumstances, infuse them with a tailed beast and pawn them off on me." Yashamaru said in a clipped voice. "AHH! Right!" Ayame noted it down, "What else?"

"Don't try and assassinate them, don't tell them their mom hates them, don't let Kank put them on the family cactus.." Yashamaru counted off the advise off his fingers, before glancing up at Ayame when she said, "Aww shit. The fam cactus..."

"HIDE _EVERYTHING_ FROM KANK IF THE CHILD ENDS UP ON THAT CACTUS." Yashamaru ordered in a loud voice. Ayame nodded, grinning.

* * *

_Yunaiteddo means United and I added Gakure at the end because why not? Hence, **Yunaiteddogakure**_


End file.
